A few months ago, I started Repeat the Question out of boredom. I was between semesters at college, and I wanted to find a productive and creative outlet for myself in the midst of the pandemic. I thought that I had a unique perspective on the game, and the ability to provide an element to the Schmoedown universe that I didn’t feel existed in the capacity I wanted to provide. Not to mention the fact that it helped to provide an opportunity for me to continue to build on-camera and writing experience for a future career in journalism.
When I started it was fun. I loved the game and I loved talking about it even if it was only into a camera because it gave me a way to discuss something I loved. Launching the website was a big bonus for me because it brought a wider audience, and a different way for me to grow my skills. When Kristian Harloff promoted me to the fans and began offering me exclusives, it felt as if I had won the lottery. And, every time a competitor or aftershow or other established member of the community liked or shared the things I was talking about that feeling always returned. I’ve been a fan of these people for years, I can’t put to words how important it was for them to make me feel like I was a member of the community.
The problem is as time went on Repeat the Question became more of a burden than the highlight it used to be. The show started to feel like it was my job more than my hobby. I was trying to add my unique perspective to the world, but it kept getting harder to do that when I felt like I was always in the minority. It began to feel like with every episode or post I was putting up mental shields to prepare for the onslaught that followed. Oftentimes, the reaction was never as bad as I expected it to be, yet the process of preparing for that reaction is exhausting. All of this was coming to a head as the Schmoedown was pumping out more matches a week than ever before and the fall semester was beginning for me at college. I lost all free time. When I wasn’t working on something for school, I felt obligated to watch something Schmoedown-related or check the conversation on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to ensure that I hadn’t missed a massive piece of news. Conversely, when I was writing an article or working on graphics, I constantly had this nagging feeling that I should be doing the reading for the next lecture or beginning on the next assignment. I used to watch movies and television and run, and I didn’t have time for any of that anymore. I’m constantly exhausted both mentally and physically, and that means that I have to find ways to alleviate that pressure.
Because of this, I am putting Repeat the Question on hiatus for the time being. I am not done with the Schmoedown by any means, but I need to take a step back and reevaluate what I want the show and website to be. This is not an easy decision for me, nor is it something I am excited to do. Repeat the Question should function as a relief for my stress, a way for me to have fun and be creative at the same time. Right now, it doesn’t, and I need to wait until I’m at a place where it can do that for me or I can come up with a way to make the show unique and fun once again.
Thank you to anyone that has ever watched or read or liked anything that I have ever done. It means the world to me, and I hope to make Repeat the Question even better once I am ready to return.